Warning: this post might get a little mushy.
I don’t know if it is the blustery day outside, the fact that my baby just turned six months old or that she has two new little pearly whites in her mouth, it’s probably a combination of all three; but I’ve been feeling extra nostalgic lately. Where did my tiny newborn go? Everyone will tell you when you have a baby, they grow up so fast, but guys, they grow up so fast! It’s crazy, actually. When did my little 7 pound baby turn into a scooting, squawking, busy little person? I fought this whole growing up business from the beginning. I still stuffed her in those newborn clothes long after the suggested weight limit. Poor thing had her chunky thighs and arms pop out of her clothes like a busted can of biscuits. It was at this point, when I finally realized it was time to box them up, along with my dreams of having a newborn forever. I remember when she was only two or three weeks old and wishing she were older so that she would start sleeping through the night, go longer between feedings or sit up by herself. I can’t believe I ever wished away that time. I know it’s so much easier now and every day it gets more and more fun to watch her discover this strange new world, but it is just a bitter reminder that time is flying by.
One day, I was trying to get Skyler down for a nap and was wishing she would hurry and fall asleep so I could lay her down and get on with what I needed to be doing. Nap time was my time, one or two golden hours to do the things I needed to do throughout the day. I used to lay her in her crib and let her fall asleep on her own, but since the move, and the struggle with the change, I started rocking her to sleep. Usually, as soon as she closed her eyes — bam—I put her right down, I was so excited to finally get that shower I’d been meaning to take all day. I would rush her to her crib and head on my merry way. This time was different. I remember something my sister telling me about taking five minutes after your baby fell asleep to just hold them. I’m not going to lie, at first this was a challenge. The whole time I was thinking of all of the dishes that needed to be cleaned, the clothes that needed to be folded and how I really needed this time to get my chores done. I had to force myself to stay and focus on my little sleeping babe.
Now, I know this may sound silly, but these five minutes have become sacred time to me. No chore or obligation can keep me from snuggling my little baby. This time I have with her is so special and it is passing by so quickly, I want to soak in every moment I can. Right now, she wants me to hold her, to cuddle her and rock her to sleep. It will be all too soon that she turns into a teenager who is embarrassed to be seen with her mom and I will wish for this time back. It’s like that saying:
“The dishes will wait, life won’t.”
This became so real to me over the past few weeks. I wish she’d never grow up, but since she has to, I’m going to try and soak as much of her up as I can while she still thinks I’m pretty cool!