A Girl’s First Earrings.

I always wanted a little girl, so when we found out at the 16 week ultrasound (that I paid extra for because I was just way too impatient to wait any longer than necessary) that my little bambino was a girl, I was thrilled! I thought all about the nursery decorations, the dresses I would buy her, the bows, oh the bows! What I didn’t really think too much about was getting her ears pierced, that came later. After she was born, everyone called her the “cutest little boy”. It didn’t help that we named her a boy name, but come on guys, she is covered in pink from head to toe and has a bow that’s as big as her head on. It’s like they didn’t even see any of that. Even at her blessing in our church, our bishop stood up and announced the blessing our our “baby boy, Skyler Madsen”…Well, it’s Skyler Madison and she’s really happy to be here, thanks. I noticed around three months, a lot of her little friends had gotten their ears pierced. My mom didn’t allow us to get our first earrings until we were 12, so I guess I didn’t really think about getting my baby’s done.

I asked around on mom groups and from friends and family and got tons of different opinions. It really didn’t do anything but confuse me more. Some people will throw articles at you about how they can get infected or the actual earring gets stuck in the ear- it was a little freaky. I debated back and forth for months and my husband didn’t have an opinion either way. Most the time, I love that he lets me decide these girly details, but this time, I wanted someone to make a decision for me! I really did want to get them done while she was young because growing up without being able to have earrings when all of my friends did was so hard for me. When I finally was able to get my ears pierced, I was terrified and it was a really traumatic experience. If we got them done while she was this young, she wouldn’t have to remember it, I could take care of the earrings for her and she wouldn’t even notice them.

One weekend as we were doing a little shopping on Fifth Avenue in the city, we stopped in FAO Schwartz to let Skyler pick out a new rubber duck (It’s her favorite toy and thank goodness, the least inexpensive thing in the store) Well it so happens that they have a Claire’s on the top level. As we were riding the elevator to up, there was a lady who pointed to Skyler and asked, “how old is he?”. As soon as the elevator opened, I marched right to the ear piercing station and decided it’s happening tonight. I was expecting that someone would say no, don’t do it, think about it and we can come back tomorrow. But Austin picked out the cutest little diamond studs and said, “Ok, we’re doing it” and paid for it right then. I instantly felt sick to my stomach and just wanted to go straight back down the elevator and out of the store. My baby was so perfect, how could I put holes in her ears?! I still wanted it done, but did not expect to have such sad feelings about it.

The girl who was the “piercing specialist” kept setting things up and sanitizing the gun. It was happening so fast. Wait! I don’t think I’m ready. I need some time to think about this, to remember her without earrings!

Austin sat in the chair and held her as they marked the spot where the earrings would go. I could not watch any of this! Thankfully his parents where in town and his mom could be there to make sure they were even. Austin’s dad and I had to walk far away because we couldn’t handle watching, and then I heard it, my baby’s scream that I would recognize anywhere. I could not even hold back the tears and just started bawling right in front of all these strangers who had no idea what was wrong with me.

As soon as it was over, I ran and picked her up to hold and comfort her. She was making the saddest little whimper that completely broke my heart in two. As I sat there crying with her, I remembered I hadn’t even looked at her new little earrings yet. As I looked them over, I was filled with instant regret. I hated them at first. It made her look older and so different and I just wanted to pull them out. I felt guilty every time I saw them. Guilty for putting her through that pain, guilty for taking away the option of altering her body for her and guilty that I made her seem so much more grown up. As the night went on and the days turned to weeks, I actually fell in love with her earrings. She got over it in five minutes and actually cried way less than I did. It was much more traumatic for me than it was for her. They look so cute on her and would you believe that no one has called her a boy since? We don’t even have to go out with giant pink bows!

I kind of love that we can tell her she got her first pair of earrings on Fifth Avenue in New York. It was a really special night that was celebrated by going to Serendipity 3 for frozen hot chocolate – and Skyler even got her very own whip cream treat from her Papa K.